A friend of mine offered someone the most helpful thing he's found. He's over sixty, does well for himself, doesn't drink or smoke. She answered: "Are you trying to get me drugged?"

I understand the question. The word does the thinking before anyone gets a chance to speak.

So here's my honest account, and it's only mine. Eight years. Over twenty ceremonies, in the Amazon, with one family.

Here's the test I keep coming back to. A drug asks you to come back. Sugar asks me every day, and I usually say yes. Coffee too. That's what the word means to me — something that wants more of you, more often, and leaves your life smaller for it.

This doesn't ask. Most people who go want it less over time, not more. They skip nights. Many decide they're finished. I haven't sat with it in over seven months, and I don't miss it.

That's the difference nobody accounts for. A drug is judged by the night. This is judged by what it builds over years. Which is also why "I tried it once and nothing stuck" isn't the argument people think it is. One night was never the thing. The year after is the thing.

I'm not going to retell my own story here — it's in the video, told straight through. I'll only say that eight years ago I couldn't see a reason to keep going, that it changed in Peru, and that my mother has since sat in that same space.

If you're somewhere like that as you read this — reply to me. I mean that.

I'm not recruiting you. We're not doing this for fun — the first part of a night is often hell, and you don't get to skip that part. Maybe you don't need any of this. Most people don't. But if it's been calling you, do your own research and make your own choice. Just don't let one word make it for you.

If this helped, send it to someone that word has been doing the thinking for.

Your friend in this — C.

P.S. — Asking again, as promised: do these letters still land for you? Just hit reply if they do — a word is enough. Four of you did last time and it genuinely made my week. If they've run their course, no hard feelings at all, and you can always come back later.

When you're ready for a real conversation,
one-to-one — https://www.theholistic.io

Watch: Ayahuasca Is Not a Drug.
— https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bomGsDtGmJI

The writing lives here, free — https://theholistic.beehiiv.com

These sharings come from first-hand experience. They are not the ultimate truth — but they are my own truth. This is not the only path, and it may not be yours. Do your own research, make your own choice.

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